Adult dating terms explained, without the blushes.

Part 01

The abbreviations everyone asks about

These are the ones that cause the most head-scratching. Each describes the kind of arrangement someone wants, so they’re worth getting right.

• NSA: no strings attachedSomething casual, with no expectation of a relationship, exclusivity or meeting the family. It works when both people mean it and say so up front.
• FWB: friends with benefitsTwo people who are genuinely friends and are occasionally more than friends, without being a couple. The friendship is the important part.
• GGG: good, giving and gameSomeone who’s warm, keen to make a partner happy and open to trying new things within agreed limits. It’s an attitude rather than a promise of anything specific.
• ONS: one-night standA single meeting with no follow-up expected by either side.
• LTR: long-term relationshipExactly what it sounds like, and the opposite of NSA. Someone writing LTR is hoping for something lasting.
• CasualDating without commitment. It can mean anything from a regular drink with no labels to something naughtier, so check what the other person has in mind.
• FlingA short, light-hearted romance that both people know probably won’t last, and enjoy all the more for it.

Part 02

Who’s who: the labels you’ll meet

• CougarA confident older woman who enjoys the company of younger men. Some wear it as a badge of honour and others roll their eyes, so let her use it first.
• Toy boyA younger man dating an older woman. Usually said with affection and a raised eyebrow.
• Silver foxAn older man whose grey hair only adds to the appeal. The female version, a silver vixen, is catching on.
• BBWShort for big beautiful woman, a fond term for a curvier lady. Some use it proudly about themselves, so follow her lead.
• SapiosexualSomeone who finds intelligence the most attractive quality of all. Clever conversation is the way in.
• VanillaConventional tastes in romance. It isn’t an insult, and plenty of people are cheerfully vanilla.
• KinkyA broad label for liking things beyond the conventional. It means very different things to different people, so ask rather than assume.
• Open-mindedWilling to consider things outside the usual. Lovely, but vague, so it’s worth asking what it actually covers.

Part 03

Old-school shorthand that’s still hanging on

Some abbreviations date back to the newspaper ads of years gone by and still pop up on profiles today, often written by people who remember paying by the word. GSOH means good sense of humour, the most claimed and least proven quality in dating history. WLTM is would like to meet, as in ‘WLTM a lady who enjoys dancing’.

N/S stands for non-smoker, and you may still spot ‘solvent’, which simply meant someone with their own money who pays their own way. ‘Tactile’ describes a person who enjoys hugs, hand-holding and a hand on the arm. ‘Young at heart’ remains a favourite with everyone from fifty to ninety. None of these needs translating for long, but it’s nice to know you’re not imagining the nostalgia.

Part 04

Modern dating behaviour, named and shamed

A handful of words have been coined for behaviour that’s been around for ever. At least now it has a name you can roll your eyes at.

• GhostingVanishing mid-conversation without a word of explanation. Rude, and best not taken personally.
• BreadcrumbingSending just enough flirty messages to keep someone interested, with no intention of ever meeting.
• Love bombingShowering someone with affection, compliments and big promises very early on. Sometimes it’s just enthusiasm, but it’s also a favourite tactic of romance scammers.
• CatfishSomeone using fake photos or a made-up identity. Video calls and reverse image searches help catch them out.
• SituationshipMore than friends, less than a relationship, and nobody’s quite sure which. Fine if you both like it that way.
• Slow fadeThe polite cousin of ghosting: replies gradually get shorter and further apart until they stop altogether.
• OrbitingGoing quiet in conversation but still watching your posts and liking your photos from a safe distance.

Part 05

Where things are heading: the commitment words

Once you’ve been on a date or two, a different set of words starts to appear. They’re less about what someone wants and more about where the two of you stand.

• Talking stageThe early weeks of chatting and perhaps meeting, before either of you has decided anything.
• Slow burnA connection that builds gradually rather than fizzing from the first message. Often worth the wait.
• ExclusiveYou’ve both agreed not to date anyone else. Worth saying out loud rather than assuming.
• Seeing someoneDating regularly, but not yet calling it a relationship. Deliberately vague, and plenty of people like it that way.

Part 06

What is naughty chat? And a little site talk

Naughty chat is flirty, playful conversation between consenting adults. It can mean anything from cheeky innuendo over a morning cuppa to saucier messages late at night once you both know you’re enjoying it. The golden rules are simple: it’s mutual, it builds gradually, and nobody sends photos that haven’t been asked for.

Here on Naughty Seniors, free members get a daily allowance of messages and can always answer anyone on VIP. Upgrading to VIP removes the cap and adds exclusive chat rooms, plus private group chats for up to 50 members at a time. A few other terms you’ll see around the site:

• Blue tickA badge showing the member has completed the free, optional ID check.
• Daily matchesSuggested profiles that arrive each day for every member, free or VIP.
• RewindA VIP feature that brings back a profile you swiped past too quickly.
• VIP PlusThe highest tier, adding exclusive matches and priority for your messages and likes.

Part 07

Adult dating terms explained, and one golden rule

Knowing the vocabulary helps you read profiles quickly, but labels only get you so far. Two people can both write NSA and mean quite different things. So once a conversation is going well, talk plainly about what you each want, and check before assuming anything.

When it comes to your own profile, plain words beat jargon every time. ‘Looking for a regular date and a bit of fun’ is clear to everyone, whereas a string of capital letters can look cold. Use the abbreviations if they suit you, but make sure the warmth comes through.

Remember, too, that the same word can carry different weight at different stages of life. Someone of seventy writing ‘casual’ may simply mean they have no wish to merge households or rearrange their routine, which could be a world away from what you had in mind.